Meet my Guru, Indira Ma through the pages of my diary.
19 March 1993
Went to Pune. Met Ma in the morning.
Ma said: "Come and be very welcome. She touched my head and spine and
said: "I love you very much."
I said: "Ma, you say lovingly, I am clever, maybe I am clever, maybe I
am crazy, I am a hotchpotch. All I know is I want you to take care of me."
Ma said: "No, I don't think you are a hotchpotch, you are a very nice
person. We all are hotchpotch, only you say it and we don't."
Ma was then talking about enjoying cricket. She said people have a notion
about Spiritual people not being interested in everything; but I love the Lord's
Ma was having tea at the terrace, She was observing the parrots singing. I
said: "Ma, sometimes one feels one thing, sometimes another."
Ma said: "Don't get too worried about progress."
Ma said: "The best way to pray is to (feel) let Your will be done."
And 'Give us the strength to bear it."
I said: "You pray for everyone but yourself."
Ma said: "Doesn't He know? !"
While eating some cashew nuts, Ma gave me some. I believe 'parsad' is 'Grace'
MA'S TREMENDOUS LOVE AND COMPASSION
28 April 1993
Went to Ma. Entered the room. The door was open. Felt that I had intruded,
Was about to retreat in confusion as I found Ma crying.
Her cat had died. She had been hit by a car. Ma kept saying: "No-one in
the Mandir liked her, we should have looked after her better. She wanted to pray
for the cat. She looked at me and said: "Do you think, it is funny that we
pray for a cat?"
I said: "No Ma, I am sure they have a soul!"
Ma said: "Yes."
Ma picked up a baby and said some words of her own song which meant:
"Don't you remember, we knew each other before?"
I looked at her and said: "You know me, (my previous connection with
you) who am I?"
She smiled and said: "I'll tell you when the time comes."
In connection with someone connected to her who had died in an accident,
I asked Ma: "Is it all destiny?"
Ma said: "High probability."
KARMA AND GURUS
4 June 1993
Ma greeted me lovingly. She said: "Sit on the chair like a
I asked her: "A swamiji once said: 'Karmas cannot be eradicated, only a
satguru can take the energy. Is it true?"
Ma answered: "Partly, A guru wants to give blessings but people 'gaajar
moolee ka daam karkey chaley jaatey hain. (ask for petty things)".
I spoke to Ma about a something that was worrying me.
Ma said: "Don't worry, you have nothing to worry about. You have so much
I answered truthfully: "Ma, I only have faith when things are going
Ma said: "Karmas can be modified."
I had lunch with Ma.
Ma used to often pass flippant remarks and then naughtily comment. This time
she told my friend Sapna regarding me: "Sorry, but now she will never come
(to Pune), You will have to come alone."
I said: "Ma, I have always suspected that real sadhus are like you
Ma said: "I don't know, but I know that I am not a fraud."
5 June 1993
I asked Ma: "Am I disturbing you?"
She said: " How can you disturb me?"
I said: "Don't you need your space?"
Ma said: "People need outer space, I have the Chidaakash"
(Limitless space of consciousness)
Ma was telling us a story:
There was a king who killed a cow and said: "It was God's wish"
God came to the king in the form of a cowherd (gwaala) and asked the king:
"Who has planted the trees, built the roads?"
The king proudly proclaimed: "Me!"
The 'gvaala' said: "Sab tumney kiyaa sirf gaai mainey maaree!"
(Everything you did, only I killed the cow!"
I asked Ma: "How does one achieve faith? Can it be cultivated?"
Ma said: "Increase love and trust. Have faith that whatever happens,
happens for good."
Ma lovingly asked me to stay on in Pune for the bhajan session at her
brother's house, if I had nothing important to rush to in Bombay. I said that I
had nothing important, and that I would stay. Later, I remembered that I had a
prior commitment in Bombay that I had forgotten. I went to Ma with my dilemma.
Ma said that I should go to Bombay, since I had made that commitment earlier. I
asked Ma: What is the right choice, Ma?
She said: "All that is not important. You go!
I left reluctantly for Bombay. I called Pune, to be told that the Bhajan
session that Ma had so lovingly asked me to attend had been postponed! I was
overjoyed. I took a train back to Pune after fulfilling the commitment. Again I
asked Ma: "Did I do the right thing?"
Ma said: Yes! After all you had forgotten about your previous commitment when
you told me that you would stay!"
I said: "Then what about choice of right or wrong?"
Ma said: "Maybe if you had chosen a show over 'satsang.'
I said: "but Ma, you asked me with so much love!"
Ma said: "But I still love you, my love does not bargain!"
At the bhajan session in her brother's house Ma sang:
Giridhar naagar saath ho,
Radhey Gopaal bhajo, Radhey Gopaal,
Krishna Kanhaiya saath ho,
Raadhey Gopaal, bhajo raadhey Gopaal,
While she sang Ma kept saying: "See Him! Can't you see Him?" Nobody
could! It seems that this 'bhajan' had 'come' to Ma only a few days ago.
In the 'mandir' there was a boy who was choosing to stay in the 'mandir' over
his career. Ma said: "Think very carefully! You see us eating and getting
fat and you think ashram life is easy. but it is not! We have to learn to live
with a focus on us, not blaming the world."
Ma said: "People who live in ashrams are not saints. Even saints are not
saints, so what to speak of disciples?"
I asked Ma if if one could live at home like in an ashram?
Ma said: "Certainly, but in an ashram the Guru guides all the
Earlier Ma had said: "Now-a-days disciples are out to teach gurus!"