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A Tribute
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Remembering Maa
Meet my Guru, Indira Ma through the pages of my diary.


19 March 1993

Went to Pune. Met Ma in the morning.

Ma said: "Come and be very welcome. She touched my head and spine and said: "I love you very much."

I said: "Ma, you say lovingly, I am clever, maybe I am clever, maybe I am crazy, I am a hotchpotch. All I know is I want you to take care of me."

Ma said: "No, I don't think you are a hotchpotch, you are a very nice person. We all are hotchpotch, only you say it and we don't."

Ma was then talking about enjoying cricket. She said people have a notion about Spiritual people not being interested in everything; but I love the Lord's world.

Ma was having tea at the terrace, She was observing the parrots singing. I said: "Ma, sometimes one feels one thing, sometimes another."

Ma said: "Don't get too worried about progress."


Ma said: "The best way to pray is to (feel) let Your will be done." And 'Give us the strength to bear it."

I said: "You pray for everyone but yourself." 

Ma said: "Doesn't He know? !"

While eating some cashew nuts, Ma gave me some. I believe 'parsad' is 'Grace'

28 April 1993

Went to Ma. Entered the room. The door was open. Felt that I had intruded, Was about to retreat in confusion as I found Ma crying.

Her cat had died. She had been hit by a car. Ma kept saying: "No-one in the Mandir liked her, we should have looked after her better. She wanted to pray for the cat. She looked at me and said: "Do you think, it is funny that we pray for a cat?" 

I said: "No Ma, I am sure they have a soul!"

Ma said: "Yes."

Ma picked up a baby and said some words of her own song which meant: "Don't you remember,  we knew each other before?"

I looked at her and said: "You know me, (my previous connection with you) who am I?"

She smiled and said: "I'll tell you when the time comes."

In connection with someone connected to her who had died in an accident,  I asked Ma: "Is it all destiny?"

Ma said: "High probability."

4 June 1993

Ma greeted me lovingly. She said: "Sit on the chair like a princess."

I asked her: "A swamiji once said: 'Karmas cannot be eradicated, only a satguru can take the energy. Is it true?"

Ma answered: "Partly, A guru wants to give blessings but people 'gaajar moolee ka daam karkey chaley jaatey hain. (ask for petty things)".

I spoke to Ma about a something that was worrying me.

Ma said: "Don't worry, you have nothing to worry about. You have so much faith!"

I answered truthfully: "Ma, I only have faith when things are going well!"

Ma said: "Karmas can be modified."

I had lunch with Ma.

Ma used to often pass flippant remarks and then naughtily comment. This time she told my friend Sapna regarding me: "Sorry, but now she will never come (to Pune), You will have to come alone."

I said: "Ma, I have always suspected that real sadhus are like you are."

Ma said: "I don't know, but I know that I am not a fraud."

5 June 1993

I asked Ma: "Am I disturbing you?"

She said: " How can you disturb me?"

I said: "Don't you need your space?"

Ma said: "People need outer space, I have the Chidaakash" (Limitless space of consciousness)

Ma was telling us a story:

There was a king who killed a cow and said: "It was God's wish" 

God came to the king in the form of a cowherd (gwaala) and asked the king: "Who has planted the trees, built the roads?"

The king proudly proclaimed: "Me!"

The 'gvaala' said: "Sab tumney kiyaa sirf gaai mainey maaree!" (Everything you did, only I killed the cow!"

I asked Ma: "How does one achieve faith? Can it be cultivated?"

Ma said: "Increase love and trust. Have faith that whatever happens, happens for good."

Ma lovingly asked me to stay on in Pune for the bhajan session at her brother's house, if I had nothing important to rush to in Bombay. I said that I had nothing important, and that I would stay. Later, I remembered that I had a prior commitment in Bombay that I had forgotten. I went to Ma with my dilemma. Ma said that I should go to Bombay, since I had made that commitment earlier. I asked Ma: What is the right choice, Ma?

She said: "All that is not important. You go!

I left reluctantly for Bombay. I called Pune, to be told that the Bhajan session that Ma had so lovingly asked me to attend had been postponed! I was overjoyed. I took a train back to Pune after fulfilling the commitment. Again I asked Ma: "Did I do the right thing?"

Ma said: Yes! After all you had forgotten about your previous commitment when you told me that you would stay!"

I said: "Then what about choice of right or wrong?" 

Ma said: "Maybe if you had chosen a show over 'satsang.'

I said: "but Ma, you asked me with so much love!"

Ma said: "But I still love you, my love does not bargain!"

At the bhajan session in her brother's house Ma sang:

Giridhar naagar saath ho,
Radhey Gopaal bhajo, Radhey Gopaal,
Krishna Kanhaiya saath ho,
Raadhey Gopaal, bhajo raadhey Gopaal,

While she sang Ma kept saying: "See Him! Can't you see Him?" Nobody could! It seems that this 'bhajan' had 'come' to Ma only a few days ago.

In the 'mandir' there was a boy who was choosing to stay in the 'mandir' over his career. Ma said: "Think very carefully! You see us eating and getting fat and you think ashram life is easy. but it is not! We have to learn to live with a focus on us, not blaming the world."

Ma said: "People who live in ashrams are not saints. Even saints are not saints, so what to speak of disciples?"

I asked Ma if if one could live at home like in an ashram?

Ma said: "Certainly, but in an ashram the Guru guides all the time."

Earlier Ma had said: "Now-a-days disciples are out to teach gurus!"

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