Remembering Maa
Meet my Guru, Indira Ma through the pages of my diary.

PAGE FOUR

AT THE LECTURE
14 July 1992

At the main Mandir hall of Hari Krishna Ma said: "To me a Guru is not a God, not the Creator of the Universe...My Guru said that he was a sincere seeker...He was ahead of me...to me a guru is one who is on the way, who can show me the light..." That is exactly when I asked Ma to lead me.

Later Ma sang on the tune of one of her favourite Bhajan 'Giridhar Naagar aajaa..' the following song:

Satguru pyaarey aajaa, phir gaajaa
Geet Hari Key Prem key
Aa mil Satguru gaa

Guru charnan sang pyaar hai, eitbaar hai
Bhav saagar mein naiyaa, tuhee paar laga

CHOICEST JEWELS
11 Sept 1992

Talking about other Spiritual leaders Ma said: "Some have to go out and meet...to me those will come who are destined (to come to) my darbaar" Then pointing at me and at Aunty Sushila she continued: "and these two are the Maharanis-Presiding Deities"

12 Sept 1992

Ma said to someone else: "You are really nice".

I said to Ma: "Ma do you find anyone not nice?"

Ma said: "No! I believe in people...People expect the guru to be according to their needs, and they give also accordingly...People go to the jewelers. If the salesman knows that they are not really interested in buying, he will not show much interest, but if a real connoisseur comes, the salesman will bring out his choicest jewels..." ,then she hit my knee affectionately and said: "Like when she comes I take out my choicest jewels...but then now I have such few left."

I told Ma that I had been asked by another 'Spiritual person' to do something which I was not very comfortable with, even though it seemed like a good thing.

I asked Ma what to do. She said: "Be natural!, For a 'saadhak' like you, it may be good to follow that 'Spiritual man's advice, but I do not want you getting an ego, if you do what he says!"

Later Ma told us a story. Raman Maharishi never really spoke with his disciples. Yet once Maharishiji admonished his disciples by saying: "Don't ask stupid questions".

The disciples questions had been:

1) Will my sister-in-law get a son or daughter?
2) Will my nephew pass in his examination?
3) Will I get Enlightenment?

Ma would often tease me affectionately. She would say: "You are so clever!"

Once when I flinched at that remark, she said: "You are not cunning clever"

Another time I asked her whether I should do something about it, and she said: "NO!"

Shardaji said: "Ma says, 'most people are dumb, it is good to have clever disciples!"

Sapna said: "Shakun has intuition."

I said: "Yes Ma, I may be intuitive but I am not impulsive. That is not much fun!" Ma seemed to agree to that. Yet. she said to me affectionately: "Next time, come and stay with me."

I told Ma that once I had 'seen' a kind of scene in which were present all the Spiritual Masters that I had come in contact with during this life of mine. In that scene obviously I felt that I was not as evolved as all the Great Beings present, and yet there was a desire in me to incarnate and be contemporaries of these Great Souls.

I 'felt' these Masters encouraging me to take the journey with them, promising me that they would help me along the way. Needless to say, one of the Masters was my own Ma Indira Devi.  So I told Ma that I was glad that I have been so guided, yet sad that I had not accomplished enough.

Shardaji volunteered: "It is like a glass half empty, half full."

I asked Ma if she believed that my vision was real?

Ma smiled and jokingly quipped: "It is nice to believe that you have come to be helped. Most people feel, they have come to help!" 

Ma was reading out her last chapter of 'Fragrant Memories'. Ma told us about how someone had told Dadaji that though he had made Aurobindoji, his guru, a girl who had already been born would come to the Aashram, and after that would Dadaji get his enlightenment. Ma was then ready to take her inhalation, for that medication, she would have to cover her eyes. She mischievously asked: "Tell me who is here and I will tell you something."

Shardaji said: "All your own Ma."

Ma still insisted in wanting to know who who was present.

When Shardaji mentioned each of us by name, then Ma ever so sweetly told us: "A man told Dadaji that an 'apsara' would come down" and then Ma went on to flap her wings like a fairy. Later Ma asked me whether I thought that she was very frivolous, and I said: "No Ma, I can't imagine a saint with no sense of humour."

I told Ma that maybe I shall also write about my 'fragrant memories', to which Ma replied: "Not so fragrant" (I think that what Ma meant was that her Guru's memories would be more fragrant than mine!)

It so happens that I am writing about 'My fragrant memories,' Only I am calling it 'Reminiscensing Lovingly'.

MA IN MUMBAI
Nov 1992

I said to Ma: "I know the 'chakkar' and yet I cannot help 'desiring'.

Ma said: "It is not wrong to want to be happy. Desire is of two kinds. One is innate and the other is obsessive.

The innate desire is 'God, I have a desire, but you do what you have to do, when you have to do'.

Obsessive desire is when you want it at any cost!

18 Nov 1992

Ma came to my house. I felt so blessed!  I requested her to sing: "Anand bhaiya meri Maayee, Satguru mainpaaiya.." She granted my request and sang. I felt: "He man merya tu sada raho Har naaley.." 

I love Ma!